Top Five Dumbest Things Creationists Say

Following on from the previous, more general, post, here are my personal Top Five for the dumbest comments ever.

5. Ray Comfort is a Bibliophile

Well, this was something of a shot heard around the world as it caused a bit of a racket on the creation-evolution blogosphere. A racket consisting of howls of laughter, of course.

bibliophileThis isn’t exactly a creationist claim, right? Okay, sure. And Ray did apologise and may have learned something. Yep. And there’s nothing wrong with not knowing something. Sure, as even now I’m probably not too sure on how you’re supposed to pronounce “hyperbole” and “aficionado”. But, it does show Ray’s mentality to jump immediately to accusations. Even in the face of the correction, he manages to shoehorn in the term “atheist insult” – as if only the evil non-believers could ever stoop so low as to make a portmanteau out of paedophile. So while others might jump on the “Haha! Ray doesn’t know an obscure word!” bandwagon, this for me is really his persecution complex shining through in glorious technicolour.

4. The Lunar Bukakke Theory

As an offshoot of the hydroplate theory, the “lunar bukakke” theory suggests that the craters on the moon were caused by water impacting the surface. Okay, so far so good, as comets are mostly ice and can cause some damage on impact. But where did the water come from? Yep, as talked about in the previous post. flooddidit. Although this sort of weirdness is associated with much of flood geology and hydroplate “theory”, the specific presentation singled out for the prize here belongs to YouTube user NephilmFree. His assertion is that an especially tight hole would squeeze (minds out of the gutter, please) the flood waters so much that their velocity would increase enough to overcome all the other barriers to this batshit insane idea actually working. Barriers such as basic conservation of energy.

The RationalWiki article linked above covers much of the physics of why this is wrong, as does the following video from Thunderf00t – in his prime, before he started having strange paranoid fantasies of Anita Sarkeesian coming to take his balls away.

3. Ken Ham endorses the worst school quiz ever

Again, a famous one.

creation-testBut remember how Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis fame endorsed it? And how he said the derision (rightfully) poured upon it was an atheist attack on the right of Christians to indoctrinate educate their children as they see fit? Yep. That happened too. Now, anyone not believe me that Ken Ham has a self-indulgent persecution complex and is generally a complete and utter arse? Good.

The Blue Ridge Christian Academy has since quietly closed down.

2. The Answers Research Journal mistakes a stuffed toy for a real animal

While the so-called “paper” itself is a massive fail – its methodology is basically “we used Google images and made shit up” – the most spectacular failure for the ARJ was when it published an image that was blatantly of a stuffed toy thinking it was a real animal. This isn’t entirely unheard of, Islamic evolution-denier (Muslim fundamentalism doesn’t mandate a young earth) Harun Yahya once used a picture of a fishing lure, complete with hook to demonstrate a point about animals.

They will, quite literally it seems, do absolutely anything to justify the absolute crap that is baraminology.

AiGplush1. Fire-breathing Dinosaurs and the Nostrils of +1 Friction Burns

Attributed to British evangelist Richard Kent, this one suggests that dinosaurs would set their nostrils on fire due to breathing heavily in an oxygen-depleted environment, thus explaining the myth of dragons and other monstrous creatures found in the Bible.

Yep, that’s pretty much the long and short of it. The theory can be seen here, about 4 minutes in. I believe potholer54’s audible doubletake speaks for us all.


3 thoughts on “Top Five Dumbest Things Creationists Say

  1. Pingback: Top Five Dumb Things Creationists Say | Spherical Bullshit

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